冬季

I can't say I am a winter person, but compare to summer, I think I handle the season a bit better.

Of course it's no easy task in New York.  It's not just the snow, it's the ice.  There were times when we simply needed to consider skiing to work, but I grew to like the snow especially around this time of the year.  It just adds that touch of festivity to the season, something we don't get back home in Australia.

Christmas on the beach it's probably one of the many things hubby has to adjust to.

悲劇

A friend of hubby committed suicide.

It took us a while to overcoming the shock.  The whole thing was very unsettling... any suicide attempts is unsettling.  I can never understand the choice, that if one has the strength to end the life, then find courage to live as well.  For your love ones' sake.

This journey was never made to be easy, I won't argue about that.  Yet for better or worse, it's a mission, a task, an experience... whatever one wants to call it, it's temperately.  If this place is not fun, go play somewhere else; if you are disappointed with the people around you, go make new friends.

The world is so big, take a step back, we can only live once.

後來

後來 我總算學會了 如何去愛

時光飛逝

I can't believe we are in December already!

I heard that time flies faster as we get older... now I can truly attest to that statement.  It's almost as if we had all the time in the world when we were so much younger: time to spend, time to waste, time to make mistake, time to redo and undo again and again.

Now day in, day out, before you know it... another day, another year gone by.   There's still so much to do.

There's still so much to see.

看星

You can't see stars in the city.  So I never knew what it's like up there.

Until I was 17, enjoying my best time yet traveling to the outback by myself.  Camping in the middle of the desert.  It was dark.  As I looked up, there you have it, a sky full of stars.

I will never forget what mother-nature had shown me during my trip, it was breathtaking, not a word could describe the feeling.  I have never been so close to the nature.  I hope that one day, I could relive the moment again with my love one.

One day.

有些人, 有些事

Some things are better left unsaid.

Memories is all I have.  Sometimes I remember, most of the time I don't.    We'd came this far. I can only convince myself that it's for the better.  I can only play the part.  Perhaps we have all forgotten more than we remembered.  Perhaps it's for the better.

When I turned to leave that moment, I wasn't sure it's a feeling of pity or regret.

There will always be a place for you in my heart.

幽默

You can't live life without humor.

It's probably one of the key ingredients to survive in this very screwed up world.  When you can't cry, laughter is probably the best medicine to heal.  My hubby happens to have a huge sense of humor, it's that kind of state of mind that helps me get through some of the toughest times in life.

Life is full of obstacles already, find someone who can make you laugh.

抱負

I'd never have much ambition.

Chasing an ambition is a very tiring thing and at the end of the day, it's all about quality of life.  So I just want to be happy.... you know, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, money to pay bills and, a good night sleep every night.

Work, is just a tool to getting from point A to point B.  We were born with nothing, and we can't take anything with us when we leave.

I am a happy person, I have everything I can ever ask for and I don't think about things I don't have.  Life can be a pleasant journey.

紅鞋

I'd always have a thing about red shoes... they are always the prettiest, the cutest.

But my desire of owning a pair ends with a book, and yes, I am referring to Andersen red shoes.

It's such a strange story, almost too harsh and very much unlike his style. Yet the impact was there, so every red shoes reminds me of his book that I grew to hate so much.  Needless to say, I am yet to own a pair of red shoes after all these years.

So I settled for all kinds of flats.  I figure if I can't dance, I want to make sure I can walk or run for as long as I damn well please.

那些年

好想告訴你 告訴你我沒有忘記

白日夢

I am a daydream believer.

Really, I could be talking to you one minute and my mind just wondered off to the next.  No particular destination.

I daydream about everything and anything, from seconds to hours, my mind just goes into the 'zone'. I think that's because I live an ordinary life, for the most part... a little daydreaming actives help me get thru the day, or that it releases the stress, it's less sweatier than going to the gym!

Life is full of ups and downs, let me daydream a little more, a little longer.

新的一頁

The wait is finally over.

There's really nothing to worry about but until we have the approval, it's hard to relax, or to even plan ahead.  Now suddenly, all these 'what if-s' are becoming realities... so much to do, so excited, so relieved.

We don't know what is on the other side waiting for us, but we have each other.

We will face our new adventure together.

妝

I don't use makeups... may be when I was much younger, when I didn't know better.

Now... now I have no better reason.  I see everything I needed on my face.

It's probably because I am lazy too... really,  if I have that much time, I'd rather read a book or take a nap.  life is too short.  I am just an ordinary girl.

But that didn't stop me from loving cosmetic products.  All happy colours, the sky's the limit.

Krav Maga

Taking up the Krav Maga combat training is probably one of the best decisions.

Statistic shown that women are more likely to be the targets of domestic violence and various assaults.  How do we defend ourselves? How do we overpowering people that are much bigger and often stronger?

I don't look for trouble, but if trouble finds me, I want to make sure I have the ability to protect myself.

I don't ever want to be part of the statistics.

對抗

Nobody likes confrontation, but I don't avoid it either.

I can't say it happens all the time in my line of work but believe me, when it dose, it's usually not very pretty.  The worst is probably getting the higher up involved, then it's about who brings in the most money wins, for the most part.

Yes, you read right, that's how it is done.

You just need to be very creative.  The objective is not to win... it's to minimize your loses.  That's how we get cancer.

戲如人生

I am not a movie person.

I just don't like sitting in the dark starring at the screen... so I am not exactly a TV person either.

But if I must choose, I like cartoons.  To me, cartoons are a reflection of our society, it's short and sweet and meaningful.  I especially like Looney Tunes' cartoons, roadrunner will always outsmart the coyote; tweety would always get sylvestor into all kinds of trouble.  There will always be porky pig, taz and my favourite daffy duck around you.

They rarely show these cartoons on TV now, but you can still catch some of them during the kids movies previews in the summer.

食得是福

I have zero mind power over food.

My love for food has no limits.  That's why I can never go on a diet, the word, is very much non-existence.  Unless I am allergic to the particular food or if it's beef, I consume anything and everything on a daily basis.  I eat 6-8 small meals a day.... in other words, I am constantly eating!

Of course I know my limit too so I go to the gym everyday just to make sure I can keep up with this kind of lifestyle.  I too know sooner or later I will have to put a cap on this.

I hope it's later than sooner...

遊子

I like taking time off from work, you know, just pick a place and goof off. 

It's never about the destination or sightseeing, it's a time for the two of us to get away from the daily routine and responsibilities, a time for us to catch up with, well, each other. We don't do anything special... just eat, sleep, eat and sleep some more.

I travel alone too... I treasure the time to be alone, to be myself again.  I can breathe, I can ignore everyone, I can close the door behind me, I can stop talking, I can talk all day long.

Because I can only live once.

思鄉情怯

We have been planning the move for a while now.

I am excited.  Not a day goes by when I don't think about my home and my family.  I am scare too, I have been away for so long already, I hope home is still what I remembered... the little coffee shop I used to go to, the beaches, the people, my hometown.  I am anxious, I am overwhelmed with the feeling inside. 

Of course there are still mountain of paperwork to go thru, things to pack and things to leave behind.  This is just the beginning.

But we have a choice.  We should be so lucky.

傾慕

I am usually, always, attracted to smart people.

There's something very sexy about people with brain.  May be it's because I am a creative type who live in a self made carefree world where logic is non-existence.  Or that I just couldn't be bothered with anything and everything, for the most part.

So I worship these intelligent creatures.  These are the people who could put everything from Ikea together, who hopefully Do more than Talk, who also knew humor is an important element of life.

Thank God my hubby is one of them.

Le Petit Prince

My first story book.

That's right.  In French.

It was given to me by an old lady from a second hand book store.  We couldn't afford much back in those days, not even TV and, internet was not the norm then, so library is like heaven on earth to me... all these books, all free to borrow.

But being able to own a book.

I spent hours looking up the words, the meaning of the story.  It was my story. 

Now I have it in English and Chinese and I know, I don't need to be like the grown-ups.

理髮

I always had short hair before... easier to manage, quicker to dry.

Then I got lazy, or that I really didn't enjoy sitting in the salon whole day watching strangers go through my hair.  Well, I have known this one for over 10 years now, so technically she is not a stranger anymore, but still, I found the whole experience rather uncomfortable. 

Now I cut my hair once a year, sometimes once every few years.  I don't know about other people, but when you have long hair like me, just wash it daily and tie it up.  There's nothing wrong with keeping things simple in life.

故園風雪後

Read this book in 1987, or was it 1988?

Even then I knew it was a good book... memories that touch my heart.

I know very little about love, much less expressing myself.  I kept everything to myself and most of the time I just follow destiny... and destiny often takes a different turn.  So I had to say goodbye to some that mattered to me most and to let some faded away. 

I should be so lucky.  I was once loved and be loved.

居安思危

Chinese has an old saying: There's no person that has 1000 good days, and no flower that stays red for 100 days.

That means nothing good lasts forever; all good things must come to an end.

Just like my line of work.

That's why saving has always been our first priority.  Money brings freedom, especially if you set the level of your desire correctly.  You don't need to be very rich to be happy, but at the very least, you shouldn't need to worry about your bills each month.

Income - saving = expenses.  Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

當我倆分別時

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sank chill on my brow
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

- Lord Byron

紐約，紐約

 

Moved to New York in 2001.  It seems like it was only yesterday.

10 years.  Between work and insane culture differences, the city didn't grow on me.  It's so old, so cramped, so dirty; it's full of uneducated morons, it's rough... it smells like one giant armpit in the summer.  New York is NOT the greatest city in the world.  I didn't fall in love with this city. 

But I choose to stay because my love is here, simply put.  They said love is blind, I guess I can now attest to that statement.

It's my life, my choice and no complaint.

惜緣, 惜福

Moving is like my second nature, it's in my blood.

Having gone through 2 primary schools, 3 high schools, 2 colleges, between job relocation and marriage; from city to city, state to state, then country to country... you can imagine it's almost impossible to keep any friendship going, let alone a solid relationship at any given time.

But thanks to the internet, keeping in touch is so much easier than it's used to, not to mention locating all those long lost schoolmates and friends.  It matters more than ever that I am able to relive all the good memories again.

It's like a second chance.

人體展覽

I have been dying to see this exhibition for the longest time.

I know there's a lot of controversy surrounding this exhibition, but this is the subject I am most attracted to since I was young. 

The exhibit itself though small, it's informative and educational.  It's quite an experience to look at all the displays that's constructed from real dead bodies and I walked away with new knowledge from the exhibit.  I am truly fascinated by the human bodies and anatomy.

So much to see, so much to learn.  It's the best hour I can ever ask for.

執子之手

I don't need a reason to fall in love.

Timing is everything.  You and I should have absolutely no chance to cross each others path.

Against all odds, we found each other.  There were struggles, there were compromises; there were tears, there were laughter.  But through ups and downs, we stick together.

Knowing you is the best thing ever happened to me.  Thank you for 10 wonderful years.

良藥, 苦口

I rarely get sick, not even one major asthma attack since I left HK.

Perhaps some minor allergies, no big deal usually... but working outdoor in the summer becomes a challenge.

There's nothing worse than a summer cold.  It can really make you completely miserable and, for the entire season.  Thankfully my symptoms were not as bad as some of my friends, but enough to stop me from meeting clients and work normally.

Time like this I'd miss those Chinese herbal tea, where I find the bitterness comforting.

Like home sweet home.

糖葱餅

For someone who's devoted her life to eating, this is by far my #1 favorite snack of all time.

I never knew what it's called in Chinese until very recently.  Back then, it's just 'the-old-man-with-the-metal-box'.

I remember it very well, I always prayed that I would get a whole candy wafer... not a broken one.  The sweetness of the shredded coconut, sesame and maltose mixed with the white dough is truly heavenly.  It's one of the very few street food that we could afford in the old days, along with 格仔餅、臭豆腐、雞蛋仔、碗仔翅、魚蛋、砵仔糕.

It's not just the taste, it's the memories that's associated with each and every one of them.

We were once so young.

自由業

Women at work.  Then, now and future.

The truth is, gender bias continues to create different barriers for many women, in work place and at home.  Our household is a little more healthier.  My paid job's hours, though long, are more than flexible and I have a very open minded partner who supports my non-existence role at home.

I think it's not about being lucky, it has to do with equal rights in a relationship.

So we both have a full time job and only needed to be a causal housewife/househusband, on a very causal basis.

Both demand extreme discipline, as with many facets of life.

請勿打擾

I will never understand the need of living under the same roof with another individual.

Even if that individual is your significant other... especially if that individual is your significant other!

Don't take me wrong, I am happily married and like any other normal couples, we share the same address since earth is created.

But LOVE is not a magic wand... a little distance, a little space between two individual is the key to any successful relationship.  Of course, having two bathrooms in the house goes a long way too.

Love is love.  Marriage is another story.

我手寫我心

I love writing.

I can write whole day long, from notes to letters, emails to blogging; one website got shut down, I would start another one right away.  Why... look around, the people we met, the things we experienced, the books we read, the food we tasted, the laughter, the sorrow, the smile, the tears, ... all, on a daily basis.

So much to write about.

Yet as I grew older I find it harder to put my thoughts down.... not so much because I ran out of things to write about, it's the memory-clog that caused the hesitation.  Still, it's a blessing to be able to write.

Really.  I want to write.  It's the only way I know how to express my heart.